MY SUNDAY AFTERNOON STROLL: A TALE OF SORTS

It was an easy Sunday afternoon. I was at home in my bedroom, had just had lunch and I was just laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. I did not have much to do that day, it was going to be a boring afternoon at any rate, and to add insult to injury there was a blackout. Idle minds are the devils playground they say, and so to avoid falling into the temptation of browsing porn and jerking off afterwards, I decided to take a walk to pass the time. It was a Sunday anyway, I did not want to begrime the Lord’s Day with such type of venial sin. Besides I wanted to enjoy the pleasant sun of the humid afternoon, to take in puffs of fresh air, away from the stifling confines of my house. Being the rainy season one was 100 percent guaranteed of scenery of greenery of all nature. Absolutely beautiful and breathtaking. My house is located on the side of a busy neighborhood road. As soon as I stepped outside, it was bustling with an array of activities, couples walking leisurely obviously relishing in their romantic banter, children blissfully playing around the muddy puddles of rain water, it had rained heavily earlier that morning, motorists drove on by and cyclists pedaled away, small groups of teenagers here and there, probably sharing favorite moments from episodes of popular TV shows. I walked on by, taking care not to walk too quick or too slow, skipping and hopping over the muddy puddles if necessary.

As I walked on, there happened to be two women walking in the same direction as I was, they were only a few paces ahead of me. From how they looked, they must have been at least 30 years old or less, no more. I was within their audible distance but initially I was preoccupied in my own cogitations so much that I did not give any thought to whatever they were babbling about. After a while something one of them said roused me from my lackluster day dreams and made me follow their line of conversation. Apparently, one of the women was having marital quandaries. She revealed to her colleague that her dear husband was developing into an unrepentant philanderer. She grumbled that her husband had not touched her in a month. He always came home late and too drunk to properly function. She continued that she had been finding what appeared like semen stains on his underwear as she is doing laundry, yet he had not lain with her in recent times suggesting that he had been getting it someplace else. She complained that his mobile phone was always locked and he would not disclose to her his passcode either willfully or forcefully, which made her suspect that he was hiding something nonconforming in there. She said she was contemplating on getting a beau of her own, she was at a breaking-point as her tenderloins were burning with a raging fire of desire after a month of coital deprivation. Her friend, who in my opinion was the wiser of the two did not encourage her. Instead she advised her to talk to her husband of her concerns. She pointed out how men are not very emotional beings that’s why they are comfortable with unattached sex to the point that they have no problems buying the service if needed. It could just be a communication problem that needs to be addressed. She added that she shouldn’t always wait for her husband to initiate coitus. At that moment the women broke off from the main path and took a smaller path to wherever they were going… for a second I was tempted to follow them and continue with my eavesdropping but I figured it was not worth it, lest I be discovered and be thought a weirdo so I decided to continue with my path. After I had parted ways with the women, I began regurgitating what these women had just unknowingly divulged to me. I fell into a contemplative trance over the idea of marriage. They say in marriage the two become one. I guessed this meant one becomes unselfish to the other or perhaps it meant giving up your dreams and aspirations just to please your significant other? Or did it mean making drastic sacrifices for your spouse? The more I thought about it the more I realized the conundrum that was marriage, where exactly is the oneness? We have heard of couples choosing favourite sides of bed or having a preferred pillow so much that they can’t even switch pillows with their significant other even for one night. It’s a false romantic concept that once people get married they become one. What most married people do not realize is that they are two different people with completely different backgrounds and different life journeys. The best thing to do is to get married to someone who is on a similar life journey as yourself. I thought to myself that by any measure, marriage has to be the pinnacle of selflessness and commitment. I shuddered at the thought of marriage.

As I walked on I noticed there was a man laying by the road side, he had no shirt on. From a distance one would have thought he was lifeless but as you got closer you could see the periodic heave of his thin rib cage, an indication that he was sentient. He laid there with his mouth open. Flies had made themselves at home in his mouth and around it. He had a shoe on one foot, the other shoe was in a small pool of muddy water just a few inches away. On closer inspection his face was revealed to have sustained a horrible cut, most likely from fall. There were also other scars on his face that suggested similar calamities had befallen him in a not so distant past. His face was swollen and vastly deformed. Apparently he had blacked out from excessive intake of cheap plastic bottle spirits. There was an unchecked proliferation of these on the markets. Again and again these spirits had proven to be hazardous when taken without the necessary precautions. The regulatory body had tried to ban the production and sale of the same but the producer had obtained an injunction against the ban. And so in the time the injunction was being upheld, the liquor continued claiming the lives of the young and old alike. I myself had lost a few friends from excessive imbibing of these spirits. As I passed him by I noticed he had wet his slacks and I wondered to myself, where the fun was in all this? How can a man allow his own dignity to be demeaned like this? How can a man render himself to such disgrace? Did he not know his limits? I sighed with disbelief and walked on from the sorry sight recollecting in my mind the old adage that “Tokoma sitikuti leke” (Sweet things never desist from being unduly devoured) only one has to have control and know their limits. After all, all human beings are carnal creatures that are always in a relentless pursuit of pleasure.

I moved on from this sorry scene, my thoughts wandered off to other things. My chain of thoughts was disturbed by the vibration coming from my smart phone which was stuffed in my back pocket. It was a probably a flash, or a message. I dug into the pocket and fished out the phone. It was a message. I opened the application to read the message. It was from one of my friends Thomas. I owed him money. It had been sometime since I borrowed this money and he wanted his money back. To be honest I didn’t have the money. Of course I had borrowed the money in good faith and I knew I was going to pay back. I wanted to start a business, in fact I had, but the business never picked up, and I was left neck deep in debt. It was a downward spiral from then onwards, the economy in general had deteriorated. Prices of goods and services were increasing day in and day out, but the salaries had stagnated. The Government, a corrupt organisation which I worked for, had ceased the annual increments that we used to get some few years back. It was hard for me to cope in this hostile economy. In the end of it all I blamed myself for not being innovative enough. Being an alumna of one the top colleges in the land, it was no-one’s fault but mine that I was wallowing in pecuniary predicaments like this month in month out. Most of my friends were doing well in life, they were living comfortable lives, they were developing forward, while I was developing backwards, sinking deeper in debt every year. I was so desperate I had even tried to make some money to pay out my debts through gambling. Particularly sports betting. The country had just been introduced to a new form of gambling in sports betting. It was taking over the townships. Well, I thought I would try my luck and maybe I would hit a jackpot someday. I realized two things, either sports is unpredictable or I was officially the unluckiest person in the country. I saw punters win huge sums of money but I never did win anything substantial. I had to give it up before I could get hooked. Life is not a game of chance you have to work the skin of your fingers to make it. I wish I had daddy money or an inheritance of some sort, set for life as it was, but those were just fantasies, a waste of brain power at any rate. I looked at the text message on my smart phone and felt shame. I had given excuses for long enough, but I had no better response but to ask for more time. Typing a reply took long enough, it was hard to find the right words. Pushing the send button was even harder. This wasn’t right, I wasn’t raised a dishonest person, betraying people’s trust was not one of my traits. I felt bad at these ostensibly insincere apologies I was giving every month. I gave a deep sigh of despair and plunged the phone back into my pocket. I reminded myself to be strong and to not gauge my success of others’. One could become CEO at 25 and can die at 45. One can become CEO at 45 and live to be 90. Though sometimes it felt like time was not on my side, I could find solace in that notion that sometimes all we have to do is try our level best and wait for things to fall in place.

Suddenly there alighted a huge crowd coming from the opposite direction. There were middle aged men in front of the crowd. They were carrying tree branches and one of them was periodically blowing a whistle. It obviously was a funeral procession and these men were clearing the way. If there is a funeral procession coming your way it is customary to give it its due respect before you fall prey to blood thirsty funeral discipline enforcers. Motorists have to stop, park their vehicles and get out until the procession has passed. Likewise pedestrian have to stop and stand aside, hats removed, heads bowed low and all. Usually in such a procession there are somber songs being sang, aggravating the sadness of the mourners and passersby alike. In the Christian circles these funeral songs are sang only when the deceased was a practicing Christian. If he had been squaring his tithes and was showing other diligences associated with his church, he will be accorded a “proper” rite when his time finally comes. Muslims on the other hand do not care, they will still accord you proper rites regardless of your relationship with the religion for they leave judgement to Allah. However there was something different about this procession. There were no somber songs, the singers were actually singing happy songs seasoned with drums and dancing and jubilating. It was quite a strange spectacle, something we are not used to seeing. I learnt later that they were Zionists. That’s how they roll when they have a funeral.

I trotted on and I came to a primary school, one of several primary schools that catered for the kids of the area. The classrooms were filled with groups of people, probably having religious or wedding preparation or friends of some place meetings as is common place. There was loud music coming from a powerful sound system somewhere behind the classrooms where they have the schools’ football ground. I decided to investigate. There was a Christian revival crusade. It had been going on since the previous Friday, it was scheduled for the whole of the week. During the day they were just playing gospel music, the sermons, deliverances and miracles would start late in the evening and progress up to midnight. There was a small crowd gathered in front of the elected metal and tent stage. Most were children and teenagers. I stopped for a while to enjoy one or two of the uplifting songs blaring from the public address system. Close by were two boys, by their looks they must have been in their mid-teens. One of them said to his friend, “Dude last night I had sex with Diana!” to which the friend exclaimed with a patina disbelief and awe, “No way! How did that happen? Where? That girl rarely comes out of her parents’ house. I hear they are strict disciplinarians”. The one who claimed to have had sex with Diana gave a small smirk of satisfaction and replied, “Right here at the Crusade. We made a program to meet here. This is the only way our parents would let us out of the house after dark.” He paused for a bit to let his ingenuity find a place to settle in his friend’s cranium. Then he continued, “We were on a dark corner behind those classrooms, one thing led to another and finally we did it man. Then I escorted her back home, she had a 10 p.m. curfew. We are meeting again tonight and for the rest of the week until the crusade concludes.”

“Damn!! Really? Well, you will be having some good old time dude. I envy you. I am still a virgin man.” The friend complimented with some level of admiration for his friend who had just got laid the previous night and was most likely to get laid for the few more nights to come. Well, that was interesting. The boys looked inexperienced. I wondered if he had used protection at all. I doubted he would know how to use a condom. He looked like the type that would unroll the condom first and attempt to put on in the unrolled state. I gave a little malevolent grin when I thought of all the trouble the small boy might have gotten himself into if he had not used protection. Though Diana had a curfew it was obvious that, if there was any damage it had already been done.

I also realized that these night prayer sessions attracted all manner of people. Some who were genuinely coming for the good word and the wonders associated with it and other cynics who come for their own sinister agenda, quite contrary to the teachings of the crusade. Some were pick pockets, come to make away with phones and other valuable personal accessories while some were adulterers, fornicators, drug dealers and many other hell bound motherfuckers.

After enjoying a few songs I continued on my voyage, and I came to the local marketplace. Throngs of people were in the market, going about their business, others selling, others buying and others just passing through. In the middle of the main road passing through the market was a carcass of a dog. It had been dead for a day at least, probably a victim of a hit and run in the night. Nobody had cared to remove the carcass, motorists swerved to avoid crushing the carcass and creating a bloody mess on the road. I guessed market authorities were waiting for it to start rotting before they could mobilize to remove it, in the meantime they must have been busy collecting market fees from shop owners and other vendors. I was careful enough not to take a long look at the carcass, as I have a hyperactive gag reflex, one of the reasons I had foregone my childhood ambition of becoming a medical practitioner, a nurse or a doctor. I came to a roast corn vendor. The corn smelled delicious and fresh. That prompted me to buy one cob to nibble at as I was walking along. I approached his braai stand styled stove. “Yes boss, this side it’s K80 per cob, the middle it’s K100 per cob, the rest of the cobs are K150 each” the vendor welcomed me as such. I chose a tender looking cob from the K150 group of cobs, it was not done yet so I stood aside as I watched the vendor carefully turn the cobs over the amber charcoal, taking care not to burn the corn eyes. A man approached the stove at which point the vendor welcomed him by pointing out that only one cob was taken, the one I had chosen, the man could choose from the rest. The man touched a cob at the far end of the stove and asked, “How much is this cob?” The vendor replied “K150.” The man touched the next cob, and then the next and then the next, asking for price every time. Halfway through I got annoyed and I could not take it anymore, so I said to the man, “Would you please just point at the cobs? You do not have to touch them, we do not know where your hands have been.” The man froze and stood there seemingly embarrassed at his lack of a sense of hygiene. He stood there for a few more seconds before turning around and leaving without buying any cob though he had touched half of the cobs on the stand. Yeah! Run along you disgusting man. A few minutes later my cob was done, I paid and left. Sadly, the corn was not as sweet as it smelled. Fucking GMO. I cursed to myself. Prioritizing yield over quality. Who could blame the MOSANTOs and the SEEDCOs of this world, human population had exponentially increased over the past few decades. Food production needed to increase as well to match this alarming growth. I ate half of the cob and threw the rest away.

By this time the sun had begun sinking into the western horizon or according to flat Earthers, the sun was getting too far away to be seen since the sun is always above the flat earth. I decided to turn back and retrace my route back home. I passed by the crusade and people had begun gathering ready for intense sessions of prayer and miracles. The drunken man was no longer where he I left him, he had probably regained consciousness and had staggered to wherever, so I hoped. I got home, I was too tired to cook. Luckily, I stock instant noodles by the dozen and the electricity was back on. In less than 5 minutes I had a plate full of delicious noodle soup in my hand. I quickly devoured it, then I showered, laid on my bed and put on a movie to watch until I fell asleep.

MALAWIANS' SKEWED MENTALITY ON EDUCATION

Co-written with Kizito Zangewa

In Malawi, it is common place for teachers of other subjects to undermine and underrate other subjects offered at a school…. For instance, a mathematics teacher would say to a student, “Why would you take Chichewa? Where do you think it will take you?” It is also very common for academics to demean subject content in the curriculum, for example, some would say, “Why should our kids learn about parts of a grasshopper?”

Well, over time that got me thinking. I came to the realization that the truth of the matter is that teachers of diverse subjects and academics in Malawi and beyond live in their own bubbles, which lead to little or no collaboration among themselves despite sharing the same staffroom or any other venues of interaction. To give an example of what I am trying to infer, I remember a few years ago I was reprimanded by a few of my colleagues for attending a mathematics survey report meeting when in fact I was a mere languages teacher. They said I had no business attending that meeting. I remember some went on to say that I went there just for a bottle of FANTA…… Now this kind of thinking is really pitiful and deplorable. There are word problems in Algebra that would be impossible to solve without proper knowledge of sentence construction and language interpretation.

I feel like we have been missing it in education. It would be very necessary if teachers embraced the aspect of thematic learning. Take for example a Geography teacher cooperating with an Agriculture teacher. Say in the same week, the Geography teacher teaches about map reading or weather patterns, while the Agriculture teacher teaches about soil fertility or something to do with knowing which crops to plant in which area and under which conditions. This may sounds simple, but I feel kids are confused because in one single day of school they learn different subjects focusing on different topics. If only they moved from one Mathematics class to an English class to a Biology class all under a similar or one theme, probably, we would have seen the true purpose of education. The haphazard manner in which different subjects are taught makes it impossible for learners to make interconnections between the different subjects. Here is an example; a Physics teacher tried to skip a topic on travel graphs because it had already been taught in Mathematics. The learners protested arguing that mathematics was mathematics and physics was another unrelated subject…….. Though these two subjects fall under the Sciences department, still the learners did not see their interconnectedness. This is the mentality that has been and is being propagated in the minds of the learners, primarily due to lack of collaboration between teachers teaching different subjects.

Expanding the link between Geography and Agriculture, the Chinese developed their first high-resolution satellite in 2012 called ZY-3. This satellite and others are used for a number of things one of which is remote sensing. These satellites help in the field of Agriculture technology where they are able to calibrate the quantity and quality of crops grown all over China just by processing images taken. This, in turn, acts as a wake-up call as to which crops need to be planted in which area and at what season. You can clearly see that this is the work of technicians from various fields working under one goal. Speaking of working under one goal, development can only be attained if the people involved work their way towards achieving this very common goal. Unfortunately, from my previous illustration, it appears divisions are in so many micro sectors that are crucial for such a drive.

Coming back to the issue of relevance of topics in the curriculum; it may seem rather absurd and impractical to be learning about parts of a grasshopper or any other arthropod for that matter. But come to think of it, is it really impractical to learn about the mechanics of insects and other seemingly irrelevant animals? I do not think so. In one of their articles The Guardian reports; Bio bots: robots that mimic animal physiology. In the article they write of various robots being developed by various researchers.

There are Marsbees developed by Nasa to gather information about areas of Mars that wouldn't be accessible to a Mars rover. The robotic bees could detect, for example, methane, a possible sign of life.

There is also a Manta Droid designed by Singaporean researchers. This robot swims like a manta ray. Its fins are flexible, giving it the ability to glide through turbulent seas. The team hopes that the robot could prove useful for underwater searches and gathering marine data.

Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University’s bio-robotics lab have designed a series of non-lethal reptilian robots known as Snakebots. Snakebots have been used to search sewers and earthquake sites and by surgeons to explore normally inaccessible sites.

Now in all these robotic developments the fundamental research dwells on initially studying the actual animal, how it functions and all the mechanics involved. This is where parts of a grasshopper become relevant so to speak.

How can we as Malawi stand out from the rest of the developing countries?

First, we need to know who we are as Malawians. Developing National consciousness is very essential; it is important for us to bank very much on our own indigenous knowledge if we are to attain innovative capabilities within our vicinity (Afro-relevance). We are products of our various environments, no? So why do we have to waste so much time learning about the Roman civilisation at the expense of our own indigenous culture and history?

Secondly, we need to popularize our own unique African language; say we popularize Swahili all across Africa (Just a thought since it spoken in over six African countries).

Thirdly, we need a strong monitor, we need strong unimpeded, transparent and accountable leadership. Leadership that would put our education system in order. I mean, why do we need all these opposition parties? For what? Instead of unnecessarily opposing and criticizing they ought to transform themselves into non-governmental organisations who will use their funding and resources to help alleviate poverty in Malawi. Who eats petty criticism?

I want to see a Malawi that will send its own remote sensing satellite to space and develop robots for the betterment of all Malawians.

OF THE FATE AND DOOM OF MEN

FOREWORD;

This is work is purely fictional and is not in any way inspired by divine revelation of any kind. If you find this work to be offensive, be assured that I did not intend to offend you in any way. Despite being a work of art, this work serves to stimulate the willing mind to ask questions. To ponder why things are as they are today. I am not placing blame on anyone, man or spirit.. I advise all that are overly Christian and very sensitive about blasphemy to stop reading this now because I believe this work shall be viewed as blasphemous by certain individuals. Thank you all who will take time to read this. I hope you enjoy it as a work of art but also gain something from it.

This is the tale of men. They who were weak, confused, and had lost direction of where they were going or whence they came from.

In the beginning God lingered alone in the vast emptiness in all his power and majesty. He created first the angels, the holy ones, and they were the first fruit of his thought. They were the fairest of the creatures to ever be conceived from the thought of God. And they were with him before aught else was borne forth. The angels worshiped God endlessly in the halls of heaven for they were blessed with the gift of song.

Then God Spoke to them and revealed to them his thoughts. He showed them the universe that he had woven in his mind. And he showed them the jewel that was to be at the centre of the universe and the angels marveled at the beauty of that jewel and they called it Earth. Then it came to pass that all that they saw was wrought as they had seen in the vision. Unto earth God blessed with the gift to hold life and it was teemed with all forms of life never to be beheld anywhere else in the universe. On it he made seas and blessed it with different kinds of life and the forests on land were blessed no less. He created a light in the firmament of the Earth that would give all life the energy required to thrive. Seeing the beauty of the creations of God the angels marveled and worshiped God even more. But among the angels there was one of dark mind. He was filled with envy and desired the Earth for his own. He was called Satan. The evil thoughts brewed in his mind and a great fire of desire grew ever within him.

Then God was satisfied with what he had created but it was not complete. In the visions he had not shown his entire mind to the angels, for he had purposed to create a custodian of earth. One who would rule over all that abode on the Earth, beast, bird and plant alike. And thus the race of men was made in the likeness of God himself. Superior in thought and ability to all creatures that dwelt the earth yet inferior in ability and thought to all heavenly beings. Such was the nature of man, to rule Earth and yet be ruled by Heaven. So men were given the Earth to dwell in on a simple rule to love all living things that dwelt in for God had created all in it. Men were then in control of the Earth and they wandered hither and thither freely and in those days no beast on Earth ever assailed them. The race of men throve on fruits and roots of which the trees of the forests issued in abundance.

Now amidst all this Satan detested men and viewed them with disgust and his hatred for them grew ever. With the dark dealings of his mind Satan had secretly amassed a following of angels whose hearts he had corrupted with his deceit.

It happened that God had planted a tree of knowledge in the middle of the earth. From this tree it was purposed that men should gain all knowledge they needed but time was not yet and an on the pain of death God forbade them from touching the fruit of the tree until he told them to do so. And by that design men never paid that much heed to the tree.

Satan in his dark thoughts then saw opportunity in this to estrange men from their creator and hence remove them from the Earth. Therefore as he was a spirit of great power he took the form of a serpent, a form never seen on Earth before until then, and descended upon the earth. So men in their bliss were easily deceived by the lies of the Serpent Satan. Of the lies and the deceit employed by Serpent Satan to achieve his ends this tale does not tell but it connoted that God held them in thraldom and that eating the fruit of the tree would liberate them. In the end of it all men disobeyed God, and devoured from the tree of knowledge. And thus men knew and by that he was given the gift of free will unlike before. Now seeing this disobedience God was so furious with men and he could have destroyed them and it could have ended that day, but his love and compassion for the men stayed him though he had made the promise of death on whosoever consumed the forbidden fruit. God laid a curse on men, a curse of hardship and bitter end, thus they must die eventually. For Satan, when his part in this abomination was revealed he was banished forthwith from Heaven together with his host. Why he was not imprisoned then no tale tells but perhaps in those days before evil there was no place of punishment for wrong doers for evil had not yet been comprehended. It is said that God had not yet prepared such a place for punishment hence Satan and his host hovered purposelessly in the emptiness of the universe until that day when a fitting place of punishment shall be conjured. And work was set straight away on the making of that place that later came to be known as “HELL” a place of everlasting torment and torture for corrupt souls. When judgement day comes all foul souls shall be hunted down and cast unto the fiery abyss where forever they shall repay for their wickedness wailing in the undimmable furnace. Thus the doom of men and Satan was intertwined. Doom of unquenchable fire was declared to all souls that followed Satan, angel and men alike.

So banished, Satan and his host were cast outside the gates of heaven, free to roam free until judgement day. Knowing his doom Satan resorted to corrupting as many souls as he could so that on that day comes he shall have a lot to wail with him in that bottomless pit. Since Satan’s treachery could not assail the walls of heaven he bent his entire mind towards earth. Men being weak by nature were easily swayed by Satan and his host of demons. He poured all his malice into the hearts of men. And hence he drove a wedge among the once united people of earth. Things once shared, one man claimed ownership and thus battles over possession would be fought. Men took weapons and slew other men over little things, for under the spell of Satan they were quick to anger. So little by little the people were more and more divided. By dark arts Satan changed the tongues of the divided people so that no longer did they ever speak in same accord. By evil means Satan changed the appearance of men. Some he made black-skinned and some he made light-skinned so that even though the blood flowing in their veins was the same, never again on earth would they ever be identified as a same people. He brought among men the scourge of sickness, disease and all forms of ailments that men were hearkened to their deaths. This darkness that Satan brought spread not only amongst men but also to the beasts of the wild. Serpents throve in the dark forests. Unlike before, men were now assailed by the fell corrupt beasts of the wilderness. Men could no longer freely roam about the earth without fear of being waylaid by beasts or fellow men. Men made slaves of other men and he who was unlucky to be the slave was treated like an animal. All love was lost from the face of the earth. Still in such chaos there were a faithful few whose hearts Satan’s treachery had not darkened and these few still hearkened to the love and voice of God.

Over the generations that followed God sent his servants and prophets to the people of earth to warn them of their folly in following evil ways. They would return to God for a while but soon they would forget and go back to their wickedness. And such was a trend. Tale tells of once when all men but a few were corrupted and in the hope of a new beginning God destroyed the wicked ones in a furious flood. A flood so great never has another of its kind befallen the earth since or had before. And the evil souls harvested then were kept in Limbo; a place of waiting, for hell was not yet completed. The good ones he saved from the flood when he commanded them to build a boat that would see them through the flood. And so after the flood a new generation of men throve again on the earth. But the evil of Satan and the fate of men could not be undone. Evil crept again into the earth.

Hell was now fully wrought and harvest time drew ever nigh. All wicked souls must be collected for everlasting torment. Faithful souls must join the hosts of heaven in eternal praise of God. Time was near when Satan and all his followers must be cast into hell. But Satan had grown in evil, might and pride; he would not be overcome easily. He largely achieved his desire to possess the earth. And in the very foundations of earth he built his fortress. As such a promise of war brewed; the final confrontation between good and evil as foretold by the prophets of old. Armageddon was upon men and they must endure it for it also was their fate and doom.

So even then Army of God was prepared for battle.

The army was so vast it would drink the oceans of the earth dry. Their march alone shook the very foundations of earth as if a mighty fiery asteroid has smitten the earth. Their steps caused deep chasms to be cut in the earth from whence the fires from within issued and the ground was overturned in the manner of a great quake. The sound from their war trumpets swelled up the seas and rivers to cause great flooding upon the earth.

Clad in shiny mail the glory of it alone was blinding to behold. Their head gear of shinning gold was adorned in plumes of pure white that flew majestically in the wind. Towering above their heads was a dense forest of spears and the spear heads could be seen from horizon to horizon glimmering in the sun. Their swords were mighty with flaming blades made from ores of material that would cleave any armour. So sharp they were that a mighty cedar in its full glory would be hewn in a single strike.

There then came ranks upon ranks of skilled bowmen whose marksmanship was none that had been and will ever be. These archers were said to pick their targets even in darkness as black as two and three nights put together as well as they could in broad day light. Their quavers never run out of white feathered arrows.

The captain of this ferocious army was one of the famed prophets of old whose pure soul was taken straight to heaven in a chariot of fire, after his work on earth was done, one who was born but never tasted the pangs of death. He was the captain of the immortals. He had a flaming sword drawn in his hand. His eyes were as burning coal and thus he was terrible to behold and all wickedness fled before him. His voice was like a roar of mighty waves against walls of a cliff wall. There was so much valour in him that none would dare assail him.

With this army marched a ferocious pride of Lions, with mane of gold, teeth and claws of steel. Upon the back of each Lion rode a bowman. In the skies above flew the mightiest of eagles, with beaks sharp as knives wrought in the smithies of heaven. With one swoop of their talons these eagles can tear up a full blossomed cow. These were the lords of all birds of prey and earthly eagles were but eaglets in comparison.

This was the majesty of that army in part as this tale does not have the words adequate enough to describe the ferocity of The Army of God.

All faithful men that were held captive and tormented by Satan’s forces were freed of their misery and their enduring souls were borne in swift chariots to the halls of heaven. Then great woe befell all who remained on the earth for then the times of mercy were over. The wrath of God was poured out on them and their stubborn but futile resistance. So at Satan’s gate this army smote all that guarded that passage for many had been assigned there as the first defence. But these were swept aside as a heap of dry leaves in the face of a strong gale. Eagles flew down upon the hosts of men that gathered there. Many were torn to pieces by the powerful and sharp talons of the heavenly birds of prey. The gate of the Satan’s stronghold were smitten down and the lions poured in amidst a hail of flaming arrows from the heavenly bowmen who rode on the loins’ backs. Many men were smitten down by the arrows and they fell as their ranks were nothing but dominoes. Those that dodged the fury of the arrows fell into the unforgiving jaws and claws of the beasts. Before these evil men could recover and reorganize their ranks, the Lions had prowled deep into their files and those ferocious swordsmen with flaming eyes had already drawn their fiery swords and were in full assault just behind the lions so that any man who had survived the onslaught of the bowmen bearing Lions, awoke to a new horror. Many men fell there. Men had their legs mercilessly hewn from under them as they attempted to flee to the deeper clefts of Satan’s lair. Heavenly spearmen soon joined the party, long spears penetrated five-fold bodies in the files of Satan’s army and their ordered phalanx were thus scattered hither and thither. Blood flowed to fill whole oceans and the sun was reddened in the terrible war. Great clubs were flung upon men and their skulls were opened in the fury of the blows. And in that war no sword nor any weapon of man was able to make as much as a scratch upon the skin of any of the host of The Army of God. The arrows shot by men but withered and fell in their flight for no weapon made of earth could do as much as a scratch to the heavenly hosts. And those that managed by dark practice to escape this ferocious onslaught fled deeper into the keep of Satan’s lair. And these were the lesser men for the more evil and powerful men were gathered together with the demons of Satan for the final defence.

Then suddenly without warning or announcement out of Satan’s fortress gushed elite demons and corrupt men. Those who were once at par in glory, strength and valour as the hosts of heaven but fell from favour for following Satan. They came out with their own black venomous swords wrought of dark arts. Then darkness befell the earth for the a great cloud of terror engulfed the earth and a great battle as one never fought before ensued. The clanking sound of swords upon shields was deafening. And from the darkest pits issued forth the fire breathing dragons with bat wings and fell slant eyed wolves with venom dripping from their fangs, their tails were as serpents, these were conceived of Satan’s darkest of arts. The kind of these creatures had never before been seen on the earth. And thus ensued the greatest battles of all ages, beast against beast against man against demon against angel. It was total chaos. The earth shook and shifted, lands were distorted, rivers changed their courses, mountains flattened, where there were no lakes before there was now created, greats chasms appeared here and there, that was the extent of the battle. And the dragons breathed fire unto the eagles and singed the eagle’s bright feathers, the eagles tumbled to the earth and crashed on the land, on land the fallen eagles were assailed by the prowling wolves but the lions were also there to offer protection to their fallen counterparts for as singed as the feathers were, the eagles could easily regenerate them with rest. The dragons had extremely hard scales on their bodies and these were as impervious armour no arrow, earthly or heavenly. Even the eagles with their sharp talons had to attack several times to pierce through, this was the greatest aerial battle of all ages, the sky was darkened for three days and it rained dragons and eagles. On the fourth day the last of the dragons was slain. The battle on the ground was equally ferocious as the heavenly hosts and the lions battled ceaselessly with the demons and the fell wolves. Many Lions fell and for each Lion that fell three wolves would have been killed or mortally wounded. Even though the fell swords of the demons were able to hew the hosts of heaven, the spirits of heaven were only recollected again in the armory of heaven, clad in war gear anew and sent back forth into war or the hewn spirit became two. And so the Army of God did not wan but it multiplied. As such the hosts of Satan were overwhelmed. Flaming arrows flew towards the dark host and any demon smitten with an arrow was bound in chains of fire for as spirits they could not die. In such bondage the demons were collected for doom. And after many millennia of battle the hosts of Satan waned and diminished and were defeated. Finally Satan was captured and together with his demons and the souls of men he corrupted were sent to hell for eternal torture and torment.

And thus ended the tale of men, the clueless bunch, who had lost all purpose, origin, and knew not whence they went as they wandered upon the earth. But in the dying shrieks of men words were heard woven into the air as in song saying;

O Lord, mighty and powerful

We are gracious of your mercies

And here you take back what is yours

It was not our wish to cross you almighty

But in our bliss the serpent tricked us all

For you gave us weak flesh and mind

That we were by no means a match to the devil

Why then o Lord did you let him endure?

Why did you not smite him in the beginning?

For we understand you only know the future

Only you know things that are yet to pass

You, the All Seeing Eye

Then why o Lord did you let this evil flourish?

You created Satan before us

Why didn’t you notice the darkness in him?

Was this evil in your grand design?

No lamentation can save us now

We gladly give our souls back to you

And all fell silent and dark, and thus ended the world.

THE CONFUSED BUNDLE THAT I AM

Its antique comprehension in religious circles that as human beings, what differentiates us from the innumerable other life forms is that, we possess a spirit (soul) which is absent in the other life forms. This can be evidenced by the concepts of life after death in Christianity and Islam, and karma in oriental religions. Almost all religion deals with the subject of spirituality in terms of getting connected with whatever deity in the spiritual realm. The Christians claim one needs to be born again through Jesus Christ in order to inherit the spiritual kingdom of heaven. This being “born again” does not necessarily mean the corporal birth but rather the spirit. Indian religions like Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism and Sikhism have the notion of “nirvana” roughly translated as “salvation”. Nirvana is the soteriological goal in these religions. As stated earlier it is synonymous with the concept of liberation which refers to the release from a state of suffering after an often lengthy period of committed spiritual practice which often involves deprivation of oneself of all bodily desires.

Having looked at most of these religions I have observed that spiritual distinction can only be accomplished after subjecting oneself to some form of masochism i.e. fasting (almost all religions), rigorous bodily activities (standing up and laying down a number of times) and many others.

Why is this, the case? Why do the deities want their people to subject themselves to these torturous ordeals before connecting to them? Surely, there must be an explanation to these “strange” practices. What is the connection? I am yet to get that. I will talk much on the Christian lines as I am more experienced in this religion.

If spirituality is anything to go by then, I am dead. Being born from a Christian family I have learnt that the spiritual connection between God and man (through Jesus Christ) is of supreme importance if man is to find eternal life after death. I have seen people getting delivered (so they say) in revival meetings and the likes, where pastors and “men of God” place hands on individuals, prays for them and delivers them from “evil spirits” (yes there are good and evil spirits). I have witnessed people tumble and fall to the floor as the Holy Spirit (Holy Ghost fire) descends upon them with all its cleansing power. I have, yes I have seen, heard people speaking (mumbling is more like it) in tongues (means “many languages”, as the audience, though diverse in language, is supposed to comprehend what is being said in their own language without translation) as they are filled with the Holy Spirit. I say, I have seen the almighty Major Prophets felling whole columns of people with a brandish of their handkerchief or a swing of their leg. And I sit in awe and have wondered if these scenes are authentic or that these people are just paid performers or people who pretend they are filled with the Holy Spirit for dread of being scoffed at by onlookers that they are defiant to the Holy Spirit. At one revival gathering that I attended I was so amazed by how people were being delivered so I stepped forth in line so that I could experience this amazing thing. When my turn came to receive the holy spirit, hands were placed on my head, but no matter how hoarse the deliverer prayed, I felt no different from how I felt before (well except for the exceptionally hard pushing on my forehead, probably in the hope that I would lose my balance and fall over. I stood my ground). I ended up walking away with a solemn face, pretending as if I was then holier than before. Ever since that time I have tried once more to experience it to no different effect. Yes my God has sent me pastors of his heart to feed me with his word and even through them I have failed have the awesome experience of “receiving Christ or the holy spirit”. I believe there are many others who can back up my experience.

How then does one change? What really happens? I find the answer in religious intra and inter diversity. We have different religions with different doctrines but claiming to be serving the same God. And also within the same religion we will have lots of different sects with varying, often conflicting ideologies. In the example of Christianity, there are numerous different churches with numerous ideologies as well. Some believe praying on a Sunday is the real deal, others claim Saturday is the realest. Some say the consumption of some beverages and foods is an aberration to the “principles” of God. Others will say that kind of dressing is an abomination or that hair do is evil. The varied indoctrinations have left me more confused and perplexed than ever. Why would we have different sects of the same religion with different ideas yet they serve one master? And so I draw several notable things from this;

Good and evil are all about ones conscience. What one may perceive as wrong may be right to others. It depends on one’s own interpretation. This to me explains religious diversity. It is difficult to pinpoint absolute truth in religion. Subjectivity is the order of the day. Others will eat pork others will not. It’s all about conscience (how the action makes you feel). Its intrinsic. Good and evil are contextual. Killing in war is not a wrong, killing in non war state of affairs is wrong even for a certified soldier. Teaching evolution in a school is not wrong, teaching evolution in a church is wrong.

Spiritual excellence cannot be received from another person or attained from bodily torture; one has to find it within themselves. Thus to say one cannot change by simply putting hand on him and praying for them, they have to will it from themselves. Change does not come from without but from within. And this will involve changing ones conscience and adopting a different one. One cannot make you receive Jesus Christ if you don’t will it. It’s like leading a stallion to the well and forcing it to take a slurp.

Religion may be the biggest hoax of all time. Religion may have been invented to curb chaos. If it were so it was a wise idea as to some extent there is order in this world, but at the same time let’s not forget how detrimental religion has been as history’s most outrageous atrocities have been committed in the name of religion; the witch hunts, the inquisition, e.t.c Therefore, religion and attainment of spiritual excellence, boils down to one thing and one thing only. That is FAITH (belief without question).

Having faith in everything/anything will give you confidence beyond conviction. That’s why people who have unwavering faith in their religion or religious sects believe that theirs is the true and only religion. Well, all can’t be wrong and all can’t be right. This then becomes a problem to skeptics (I like to consider myself one), who of all are the most faithless. They will need to question everything. The intangibility of spiritual issues makes it all the more hard to believe in.